We could learn something from the rattiest city in the world: New York. A team of creatives didn’t just turn lemons into lemonade or spoiled milk into a savory sharp cheddar; they turned a rat problem into an opportunity by creating hilarious, tiny ads distributed on rat-height, 13-inch sidewalk billboards, with a rat wearing a bandaid like a blindfold to solve the creature’s nocturnal sleep problem. Or the skateboarding rat that was shredding more than cheese.
This rat-centric ingenuity made me wonder what kind of rat creativity I could develop. A group of rats is called a mischief, and that’s what I’m up to in today’s post.
Me: Do you like my book?
Rat: Your book’s plot is so convoluted I could turn it into a rat maze for my inbred relatives who think inbred means their head is sticking through a loaf of wonder bread. Holy, Cheez Whiz, Ratman.
Me: Is my book as good as Kate DiCamillo’s The Tale of Despereaux?
Rat: Some things are better left in the dark. Roscuro wouldn’t leave his dungeon to read your tail. I mean tale.
Me: Will readers buy my book?
Rat: Some readers acquire new books like pack rats, but I don't consider pack rats (woodrats) to be a real rat. What was your question again?
Me: Rats often live with and near humans, so will any of your friends read my book? I keep some copies in my T.V. console for your relatives that may be hiding in my walls.
Rat: Rats have a keen sense of smell. So the answer is no, because your book stinks.
Me: Rats are easy to train, so can I train you to leave reviews on Amazon or Goodreads for my book? There are a lot of rats out there, and I could get millions of new reviews; I’m just saying.
Rat: No training bleephole. But we also carry disease, so would you like me and my friends to visit the people who left a bad review for your book, The Levitation Game?
Me: YES! Thank you, Mr. Rat! (Me with a fiendish grin, rubbing my hands together and cackling as if choking on a cheese curd)
The end!
I finally posted my first book marketng reel on instagram, and I hit 30, 000 words with my new WIP. My short story, A Yard Fit for a Princess debuted in the Women Who Write literary journal Goldfinch. Plus, click here to read my writing article at Orange Hat Publishing, inspired by The Lord of the Rings.
“I have a rat inside my skull that runs on a treadmill - pitta-patta pitta-patta pitta-patta. I enjoy the company of other people who experience that pitta-patta in their skulls.” ~ Richard Lederer