Since my book launch, pages have turned, sales have simmered, and book
bindings have remained stuck. Nothing horrible or unexpected has happened. And
yet, there are still many deplorables in my book publishing and marketing
basket—the worst part is gaining email subscribers for my newsletter. I’ve
found the job akin to herding cats inside a David Lynch movie produced by
persnickety sudoku enthusiasts. Why is it so hard?
I decided to seek advice from David Lynch himself, surreal filmmaker
extraordinaire. David’s film credits include Blue Velvet and Twin Peaks. He has
since passed. RIP Mr. Lynch. But you didn’t think I was serious, anyway, right?
Here’s what he had to say: 😊
“Sharon, if you take away nothing else from our imaginary Zoom
correspondence, remember, when in doubt, talk backward.”
“esaelP, lliw uoy ebircsbus ot ym liame tsil?” I repeat very slowly
to Mr. Lynch.
“No thanks,” he says. “But here’s another tip: When you send your
newsletter, include an insane soundtrack to keep potential subscribers on edge.
You know, unstable even.”
“I’m not sure if that will help me. But I can try Nirvana or Metallica,
and maybe include a link for spotify in my next newsletter.”
“Great. Sarah, that’s your name, right? People like a good mystery. Tell
people they may be signing up for a Sears credit card or your email list, but
they won’t know which one—keep it cagey.”
“Okay, Mr. Lynch.”
“Sharon, here’s another gem: when you ask for new subscribers, make your
questioning extremely difficult to follow. Keep potential subscribers on their
toes. Make the tone weird, bizarre even. You know, switch it up. I like to use
the word “discomforting” to describe my approach; maybe this feeling can help
you, too. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Mr. Lynch. I already feel slightly uncomfortable.”
“Good. Hey, Simone, I’ve got to go. I’m having lunch with an elephant and
a coal miner. Goodbye.”
“This is going to be more difficult than I thought.”
knahT uoy rof gnidaer!
In other words,
THANK YOU FOR READING!
My August newsletter hits inboxes next week!
"I discovered that if one looks a little closer at this beautiful world, there are always red ants underneath." ~ David Lynch
