Candy Hearts and Book Covers

I’ve felt like Vincent Van Gogh before he loped off an ear, attempting to create a book jacket copy that condensed my story into a few tight yet intriguing paragraphs. Uff da lutefisk. Hard.

                                                       ***

Esme Wright can levitate objects as effortlessly as humming a tune. Except when she lands her first big break as an aspiring magician. Then, defying gravity goes horribly and embarrassingly awry.

After Esme’s failure on live television, a mysterious reunion with her childhood friend, Joseph Estrada, instigates a vortex of levitation, both frightening and bizarre. Since Joseph already fears Diablo possesses him, this new disturbance seals his sinister fate. Soon, strange signs appear, drawing them deeper into a supernatural puzzle.

Esme and Joseph must uncover the truth before a deadly levitation mishap ensues. They embark on an odyssey to unearth the secrets of their past, and what they find may change their future forever. 

Ultimately, the levitation game might be impossible to win—or survive—without answers from the stars.

                                                                     ***

Last month, Michelle B. won two Conspiracy Theory board games worth fifty bucks with the correct answer: Coast to Coast AM. She has a sweet-smelling, seasonal shop on Etsy called Catnap Botanicals.

My book cover is out there! Please view my website for details. Preorders for The Levitation Game will open on March 1^st at Ten16 Press. But the book launch is still a few months away. Tweaking and tinkering of all bookish content are ongoing. The first newsletter subscriber to tell me they have preordered my book will receive a free Conspiracy Theory game!

I need early readers willing to post reviews and volunteer proofreaders. If that sounds like fun, email me at sharonwagnerstudios@gmail.com. 

Look to your inbox for my next newsletter on Monday, March 20th. I’ll talk about what inspired my cover art.

Me + You (My greeting and closing are from candy hearts!)

Sharon

“Yeast is to flour as action is to ambition. Rising to success requires adding and alternating starters.”

Discover more at Sharon Wagner Books

Buy The Levitation Game!

 

Don't Lick the Soap...

Animals are so intuitive and savvy to a routine that I don’t need to grab a bar of soap for my cat, Hana, to race into the bathroom, anticipating my next move. I lather my hands multiple times a day, but there’s only one time when I let my cat lick the soap—yes, I said lick—and that’s when I wash my face in the morning, around 10 o’clock.

My cat loves the taste of soap.

My cat is weird.

She waits while I brush my teeth, staring googly-eyed, whiskers twitching in anticipation. As soon as my toothbrush rattles in its receptacle, she’s jostling for gourmet soapsuds. I’m not kidding.

Now, if I tried to wash her pink-paddle tongue with soap, I’m sure I’d find her glued to the ceiling until next year.

So, what does this have to do with writing? I love being clean, but sometimes being too clean is a bad thing for blogs and websites. Cleantalk, the spam filter I installed on my new website, is like the prep before a colonoscopy, scouring away beloved blog comments like they are comprised of stinky poo. I'd love to rid myself of Cleantalk, but will I be inundated with dirty spam?

Outcome unknown. I know my cover reveal is upcoming and scarier still; preorders will be available soon! I'm also wrangling my all-important jacket copy blurb into something short and memorable. 

Last month Pat won the Conspiracy Theory contest. She received both the full-sized board game and the travel edition. Thanks, Kate and Neddy Games! Everyone guessed that Dob-Dec’s favorite food was popcorn-like Kapa seeds. My alien protagonist’s favorite food is the roots of Planet Pleione’s exotic green orchid. 😊

Now for this month’s question, pulled randomly from a deck of Conspiracy Theory playing cards:

In 1997, what radio program aired a frantic call from an Area 51 employee detailing the world domination plans of “extra-dimensional” beings?

   The Rush Limbaugh Show

    The Sean Hannity Show

    The Savage Nation

    Coast to Coast AM

You need to subscribe to win. Please help me spread the word about the contest! Look to your inbox for my next newsletter on Monday, February 21. Be sure to mark it as not spam if it falls into your computer’s black hole. 

“When the Day of Judgment dawns and people, great and small, come marching in to receive their heavenly rewards, the Almighty will gaze upon the mere bookworms and say to Peter, “Look, these need no reward. We have nothing to give them. They have loved reading.” Virginia Woolf

Discover more at Sharon Wagner Books

Buy The Levitation Game!

 

 

                                      

 

 

 

 

Yule Be Sorry If You Don't Read This!

December brings inclement weather, malevolent spirits (in the form of alcohol), tacky decorations, advertising overload, spent wallets, grandma’s mystery pudding, and festive family gatherings where politics, religion, and covid dance awkwardly on every wagging tongue. Merry Christmas. :)

December ends with gifts and good tidings. There’s always a bright side, right?

On that note, I have good news: Neddy Games is giving away one Conspiracy Theory board game to a lucky Alien Tribune subscriber every month until my book launches sometime next year. Conspiracy Theory is easy, fun, and far-out. It’s affordable at around thirty bucks, but it still costs more than my future book. Hopefully, this will convince you that I am not a grinch. Still, I worry that you may think I have a screw loose. But I always worry about that.

In THE LEVITATION GAME, Dob-Dec (my curious and mischievous alien character), plays games that even Neil deGrasse Tyson might fail to win. So I’m kicking off the giveaways with a guessing game.

The first person to guess right wins the game. Guess wrong, and you are out of the running for December—maybe. If no one guesses correctly, I will still draw a winner from my responses. If no one responds to my newsletter at all, well, bah humbug. I suggest that you reread A Christmas Carol and rewatch The Grinch. 

Sound fun?

What is Dob-Dec’s favorite food?

• Sticky and delicious honey collected from imported (Amazon doesn’t deliver to Pleione) honeybees.
• Bovine meat grown from the beings tissue and DNA files.
• The roots of the exotic green orchid.
• Kapa seeds (native to planet Pleione) that pop and crunch like earthly popcorn.
• None of the above.

Sharon

P.S. Look to your inbox for my next newsletter on Monday, January 23rd. Happy Holidays and New Year!

“I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was 6. Mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” —Shirley Temple

P. P. S. If you're reading this here, you missed this month's giveaway. You'll need to subscribe to win at Sharon Wagner Books

Buy The Levitation Game!

 

Creep Reading: Newsletter 2

 

 “There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife.” The opening line from The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman.

Books can be scary in more ways than one.

I’ve heard horror stories about novelists that received rejections in the mail with the word no scrawled across the manuscript in large, blood-red ink. The scariest thing that happened to me came into my inbox—a rejection. Lots of them. No ink, but it did stink!

Sharon tiptoed into the carnivorous room, her eyes adjusting to near blackness. In the center of the room, a small lamp illuminated a cluttered desk like a ghostly halo. Dusty books and loose paper, pencils, pens, and an assortment of abandoned coffee cups covered the desk, with a sacred laptop in the middle.

Sharon took another step, leaning to place a thick manilla envelope on top of the desk as if she were Bilbo Baggins discarding a gold ring into the fires of Mordor. “It’s done,” she whispered.

Something scampered in the dark; heels clicked; fabric chaffed. Sharon stood frozen.

There was a hand in the darkness, and it held a knife. Air whooshed toward Sharon’s face as the foreign hand lifted and slashed, sluicing and tearing. A loud thump emanated through the room like a heavy object heaved into a trash bin. It started snowing. She felt a flake melt on her cheek. Except, it wasn’t snow; it was a fresh tear. Tiny bits of animated paper floated, falling to the floor. Sharon stiffened, realizing the confetti was her prized manuscript stuffed inside the manilla envelope. Laughter erupted. “Your manuscript stinks,” said the literary agent before she swiveled on her heels, slamming the door.

Thank God I don’t have to worry about real-life query nightmares anymore! Real life is always scarier than fiction.

 This October, I’m painstakingly editing my manuscript before I hand it to my editor for more editing. Sigh. I’m applying the suggestions from my sensitivity read. Thank you, Veronica. The cover art is finished, and after countless revisions, I love it. Has there ever been a book cover in the history of the world that has a depiction—albeit small—of toilet paper? Being weird is a bonus for a writer. Plus, Ten16 Press added the title type, and it looks beautiful. I can’t wait to show and tell. My next newsletter should appear in your inbox on Monday, November 20.

Keep it, Gory!

Happy Halloween!

Sharon

“I’m so glad I live in a world where there are Octobers.” – L.M. Montgomery, Anne of Green Gables

Don't forget to visit Sharon Wagner Books!

Buy The Levitation Game!

 

Death House: Newsletter 1

When I was a kid, I wrote a story called DEATH HOUSE. I remember sitting on the shaggy blue carpet of my bedroom, narrating the creepy story into a tape recorder, manifesting my best Edgar Allan Poe. I wasn’t alone. My friends surrounded me, emitting guttural, spooky sounds like a Hollywood seance. Thanks, Tammie, Barb, and Michelle. Little did I know how popular audiobooks would become. Alas, the tape recording went the way of my Which Witch Game, my high school class ring, and the poor Barbie that didn’t survive the dryer. Gone Girl. But something survived: my love of the supernatural. Eventually, my dad’s battle with Parkinson’s became the catalyst that put pen to paper after years of sad Poelessness. CHORUS OF CROWS unfolded. It’s the story of a retired farmer with Parkinson's and his difficult daughter, who battle mysterious and malevolent visitors, that may or may not be real. Write what you know works sometimes, and other times, you need to defy gravity, like with THE LEVITATION GAME. 😊 Writing a novel is one thing; publishing one is akin to pulling a bullet from your abdomen without anesthesia, like in old Western movies. Luckily, after many self-surgeries, Ten16 Press said yes! THE LEVITATION GAME will be an actual book, and it all started with my weird compulsion for the supernatural. I blame it on the Bermuda Triangle, Sasquatch, and Alien Autopsies. Now that my website is up and I’ve figured out my new blog, I’m conquering Mailerlite and newsletters. It turns out that it's handy to be able to illustrate my own book cover. :) Best of all, local author Peter Geye has agreed to give my book a sweet little blurb before it hits the press. Christine Brunkhorst of the Star Tribune said this about Peter Geye:  "If Geye is Minnesota's Thoreau, then his pond is a frozen lake." I love that line. Plus, I don't have to worry about negative Goodreads reviews for a long time. Gulp. "Any fear that I felt in presenting my first two books to the world was overcome by my dream of being an author." Kern Carter, author of Boys and Girls Screaming Sharon Wagner Books Buy The Levitation Game!

 

Hooray!

Discover me at Sharon Wagner Books

 

Painted Words

 

The crowd goes mild.

😑(expressionless face) 

I'm talking about you, literary agents. Sigh. But that was yesterday. 

I haven't signed with an agent. Even so, I feel blessed. Gary Gilson wrote about me and my beloved words in the Minneapolis Star Tribune. You can read the article here!

Maybe someday I can report the crowd goes wild over my words - like this...